The Albany: There and Back Again

A co-written post by EbolaBooze and wildfillysama.

Destination: Albany, Western Australia.

Objective: Deliver the One Ring (esky full of beer) to Mount Doom (friend’s house). Then celebrate on the top of Mount Doom (drink the esky at friend’s house).

Loaded up with provisions, we set off down the wonders of traffic-drenched Tonkin Highway After crawling along and nearly getting taken out by several utes (pick-up trucks, for those not familiar with Australian vernacular), we finally embarked on the long and perilous straight road that runs for three hours in one direction: Albanywards.

The music was loud and the jerky questionable. Passionfruit soft drink and chocolate were back-up provisions. We were well prepared in case of sudden stranding. Hills were stared at and plots of land conscripted for the construction of future massive fortresses (including paddocks for ponies and monuments to telescoping). Lack of funding was complained at, and the Sims was contemplated as a substitute for real fortress building. Light waned, night rose. Headlights flicked to high beams and fog lights. Lou Reed was playing.

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This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when kangaroo meets Subaru. There are no victors.

 Welcome to driving in Australia!

A large red kangaroo, dazzled by headlights coming in both directions, is facing away from the Subaru as it galloped gamely on towards Albany. At the last second it turns its little face and fixes wildfillysama with a look of reproach. EbolaBooze swerves, but the steep ditches, single lane and oncoming traffic prevent full avoidance. Kangaroo is obliterated. Car limps onwards, bloodied and battered, and wheels no longer aligned.

At Mount Barker a petrol station is nominated temporary base camp. Masking tape band-aids are employed to stick the flapping bits back on. Curses are made. Lamentations are loud unto the night sky. Subaru is still game, so we continue out journey.

We arrive at Albany. Not on time. Not in one piece. But much alcohol is consumed to mourn the car’s facial reconstruction surgery and the doomed roo.

Car is further inspected in the morning, when the light reveals hopefully only minor structural damage. Insurance companies are called, premiums are expected to increase, and there is much sadness. Sadness which was filled with cheese and mead.

Hopefully the beast will hold for the trip back, only time will tell.

Wish us luck.

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