3 out of 6 angry alpha nerds live in the same house. They share this house with two
terrorists cats. Today’s blog post focuses on:
Typical Sunday Morning with Cats
5am: Insufficient humans are awake. Commence tour of bedrooms. Miaowing optional, jumping on exposed limbs not.
8.30am: Sufficient number of humans awake. Commence directing of humans towards the fridge. Miaow until grated cheese or ham appear. Eat offerings. Miaow for the unoffered portions. Follow wildfillysama back to her desk. Try to stick tail, or at least clumps of hair, into her coffee.
9am: Begin a tour of unguarded desk items. Be on the lookout for pencils, pens and important paper. Wires are optional.
11am: Observe that wildfillysama wants to make her bed. Curl up in most adorable fashion possible amongst blankets. If necessary, hide under them in order to inspire vast amounts of guilt when she throws herself onto bed to grab a stray pillow.
11.30am: Observe that wildfillysama has opted to shower before making her bed. Sit outside the bathroom door and wail for attention. Clawing carpet an optional, highly useful addition here.
12pm onwards: Badger settles for a long sleep. Artemis begins wandering around the house, miaowing at items that may need miaowed at. Interjects with breaks to claw carpet/furniture and petition for the balcony door to be opened.
1pm: Artemis to inspect what wildfillysama has had for lunch. Skitch at empty bowl in disdain. Instant packet noodles are not food. Settle for a nap on clean laundry.
5pm: Demand feeding. Extra points if given Fancy Feast. If given Whiskas loaf, skitch around the bowl in disdain until better food is offered.
6pm onwards: Alternate between napping and fighting, rolling around on the floor. Petition for toys. If no toys are forthcoming, spazz out and flail around the room. Extra points for bouncing off walls and making humans retract feet off the floor in horror.
12am onwards: Make warcries and pelt in and out of room,s making sleep difficult. If human looks poised on the brink of sleep, leap onto stomach and twitch for a while. Find warmest part of the bed and curl up for sleep. The more awkward the position, the better.
We at 6 angry alpha nerds strongly support adopting cats in need. There is no better way to appreciate just how peaceful and hair-free your life was beforehand.