This week, the angry alpha nerds have agreed to a challenge. This challenge involves one of our favourite fandoms, the Avengers, and a less favoured feature of this fandom, namely its crack-tastic fanfiction, complete with improbable pairings, awful clichés, cheesy descriptions and generally dreadful plots.
So, this week all 6 of us have been assigned a pairing and a challenge: write it to the best of your most awful abilities.
To show you what we mean, here is my installment.
Pairing: Captain America x Phil Coulson
It haunted him, memories of Phil Coulson’s prone body on the floor, sprawled and lifeless as a doll. The first to arrive on the scene, the sight trapped Captain America’s gaze in ways he hadn’t known possible. In an instant he was at the smaller man’s side, levering his head up onto his lap. Impossibly, Coulson released a soft groan.
‘Is that you, Steve?’
Captain America froze. ‘Yes.’ Coulson had never used his name before. It sent chills down his spine, and set hot butterflies fluttering against his stomach.
Coulson coughed, blood seeping into his already flushed pink lips. He opened his eyes, glittering orbs filling with tears. ‘I’m…glad it’s you. I always…wanted this.’ He laughed softly. ‘I didn’t want to die, I mean. I wanted you to hold me like this.’
Steve was confused. His head was pounding with sadness, but lower parts of his body were just pounding.
‘We’ll get you better, don’t worry Coulson.’ He promised.
‘I have your picture in my locker. It’s precious to me. All of your pictures. I have all of them.’ Coulson bit his lip, trembling as the blood seeping from his body like a gaping wound caused by an Asgardian blade. ‘I’m… not going to survive. I’ve been penetrated too strongly.’
‘Don’t say that!” Steve crouched over the dying man. ‘Your body still wants to live!’
‘My body… has only seconds to live. Please, Steve. Do this for me. One last time, just like your pictures.’
Captain America nodded grimly, but somewhere deep inside, he felt something begin to stir. Passions, slumbering since before he was encased in ice, began to awaken. He would make Coulson’s last few seconds count…(wildfillysama has signed off)