… and this is what I’ve learned from it.
1. There is no difficulty curve; there is a difficulty button. It is either on or off. There is no in between.
2. Coco Bandicoot needs to cut to the chase with her cryptic messages.
3. Doctor Neo Cortex is the sussest person to ever be suss.
4. Crash’s immunity to land mines does not prevent him from being horribly allergic to bees.
5. Coffee does not improve my twitch reflex.
6. Neither do Malteasers.
7. Still going to keep trying.
8. Hoverpads with a skull and crossbones on them do not lead to a promised land of magic and candy. They lead to a promised land of death and nope.
9. Ruination is a level best left for dead.
10. Every time I decide that getting all the boxes is too hard and not to bother with them, I will of course complete the level with only one box missing.
11. Not all TNT has the same blast range. Some TNT is just a bit obsessive and likes to be closer.
12. The music to the Eel Deal is the only part of that level worth saving. The rest can go die in a fire.
13. Aku Aku/Crash = OTP
14. Oh god, there is Crash Bandicoot fanfiction out there.
15. Don’t look for it. I should never have googled out of curiosity.
16. The look on Crash’s face when he bellyflops onto steel-caged boxes is a picture of pure regalness.
17. There are physics involved in how Crash can do the spin attack while suspended from an overhanging walkway, but not as I know them.
18. Landmines are ideal parking spots for the jet boat.
19. Childhood me clearly had a different notion of platforming to current me. For one thing, spinning pillars are clearly not designed for foot traffic. Current me is currently stuck at this point. Childhood me is laughing somewhere.
20. There were things I should have done instead last night. Many things.
But still… it’s a fun game! Nostalgic, good music, and does wonders for the patience.